To: The Senate, the President of the United States, and the World

I just want to state for the record that:
1. Massachusetts has never been the center of attention when it comes to politics and voting. We felt pressured to do well and make you proud because we're supposed to know what we're doing (and we don't).
2. We don't respond well to 56 phone calls a day from concerned citizens around the country who just want to make sure we know what day to vote. We hate it even more when they call with their cell phones. My caller id can't pick up that you're on Martha's team.
3. We voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary two years ago . . . so it's really not our fault, it never should've been this close (because when it gets this close, refer to #1 for how we react )
4. She should've had it in the bag. Seriously. It snowed today. Walkers and MBTAers had the advantage, people in minivans in the suburbs did not.
5. We'll do better the next time, when we vote with the rest of the country and there are many circles to color in on the ballot.
6. Forget whatever you thought you saw in the 2008 elections. Nobody really wanted health care or whatever else you were selling that people said they would buy (because they're not buying, they're not even in the store browsing).

6 points is sad, but it's all I have at the moment. Me thinks this should probably make the Gov'nah a bit nervous.